i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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