the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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