I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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