My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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