Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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