we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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