This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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