just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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