Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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