Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
