I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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