she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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