he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
is that a dick in a sweater?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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