there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Who died my cat blue again?
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