Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize