I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
