you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
