how can u be prego again
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
