no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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