Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize