oh god the rape fog is back!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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