i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You pole danced in your parka.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
