Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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