Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
