I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.