he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW