**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
