i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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