I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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