Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
