Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
