He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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