I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
