Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
FUCK WHALES
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
