I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize