I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
