If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
