dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
