is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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