youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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