how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
