Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
