I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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