ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
