I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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