Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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