How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
