I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
