I'm laying in your front yard are you home
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
