my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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