the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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