genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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