insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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