me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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