Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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