Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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